The Parents Guide….
I will add the words as I go along with all the topics. This lens even once it is published will still be a work in progress as I think of other things to include
Whether you are a parent or when you were a kid you wished your parents (maybe even the baby sitter) had a guide for you.
This is my take on a Parents hand book, from the eyes of myself as a daughter, when I was little, until I ‘grew up’ at least to a kidult….
What I have written in here is how I was brought up and where I think I can ‘improve’ upon for my own. As well as what I feel I see other parents doing. (Like at the movies…No kid should be at anything above a PG movie, also teach the munchkins not to kick the seats…Thank you)
The kid keeps crying and you don’t leave the room, I will tell you to give me my money back for my ticket back! Its distractive behavior. (This is why I go to Alamo draft house, this way I don’t have to deal with the little ones at my movies unless I forget that first show on discount day, kids of any age can get into a movie (regardless of rating)
but first and foremost…
Description of Parenting Styles – with me it was somewhat Authoritarian to Permissive
Always Support Your Child in the Interests They Have.
Never laugh at their dreams
be positive
let them live their life & make mistakes (its called experience!)
Children Learn what they live
Parts of the Parenting job
teacher – teach your children (oh there’s so much)
Role model- someone to look up to and respect
Friend- be supportive in their dreams and endeavors
Authority figure- You are their first ‘cops’
Caretaker- basically an uncertified medical professional
My Upbringing and How I would change that
I certainly do not have a follower mentality. I want to be the leader but no one gives me the chance. Most of what it says about what the kids grow to be like, at least on my part.. true.
I was an average student, (hated school)
I can be moody (but then I am also a scorpio) I get anxiety attacks, & easily to moderately frustrated, Though I am well behaved. Not sure if I’m Damanding or Whiny but may lack a bit of empathy. I am however a friendly peson most of the time. (unless I’m not feeling well or in pain then i don’t want to be bothered.)
NEVER say Because.. There’s nothing I hated more as a child than when I got that as an answer which isn’t even an answer. Give a reason why, be honest with your kid if you want them to respect you (or your parenting) when they get older. You don’t want them to have regrets. Don’t say Because I said so because it’s not an answer… We were too smart for it back then, (heck I’ve had ‘fights’ with my parents as a kid, Why, Because, Why Because….) but now, not sure about some of the kids as what I have seen, I question the future whether I’m alive or dead when they take over.
Also don’t be one of those hoover parents. If your child wants to learn something new, support them, and help them, no matter how wacky.
If they want to go play let them, but don’t put them in a bubble. We grew up on wooden monkey bars, I want to know when the plastic crap showed up? Like Plastic cannot be molded to be made into the really cool jungle gym sets we had. (Like the one that was in Tibbets Brook park in Yonkers, NY It even had a tree house/look out.) We played with cool toys jacks (which helps with motor skills & hand eye coordination) Those clacker things (I was a kid and would jam my fingers with them all the time, yes that means I had the ones on strings) but you eventually learn that when you mess up, you adapt to avoid getting bonked. So though some of our toys for these times may not have been safe, they taught you other things as well.
Do not decide what your child is to do for a career, that will only blow up in one of your faces eventually, if they even do try for it. No one is happy doing what others want them to do (or be) or tell them to. Remember if you get oppressive in your parenting, Your child will end up going to therapy.
Oh yeah and if there comes a time when they may want a tattoo or a body piercing. Don’t just tell them NO, not til you move out or something like that. Find out what and why they want it. Is it to honor a family member? Like a memorial, then let them do it. If they want it in a spot that will show if they wear short sleeves to a white collar job, (if that’s what they are trying for) then try to urge them for another spot. If they want zodiac signs something they drew themselves etc. Ok but if its anyone’s name other than their own family or kid (no girlfriends or boyfriends..) then so be it. Take them to get it or better yet do it more like a consultation. That they can do it but you want to find out the place (so you can check credentials etc. Then they can go with a friend to get it done. (& everyone should be happy)
Family Holidays
Mothers’ Day- May
Fathers’ Day- June
Parents’ Day- 4th Sunday of (every) July
Grandparents’ Day-September
Childrens’ Day -Universal Nov 20
What is your Name day (sort of like birthday)
The MOMMY & Daddy Diaries
These are books you can fill in, in case you are not into scrap booking or keeping a journal, the books listed in this link save time (and plenty of money considering the price of some of those ‘scraps’ you buy in the store. Once the book is filled, you could always give it as a gift to the kiddo once the book is complete (or at least can read). These make a great Personal gifts and keepsakes for any family member.
I also included other things for parent’s grandparents children’s books and some items to help your child get well. I will add to the items (and maybe even remove some) from time to time as well.
Just as there are 4 types of parenting styles, these can be added in. (They are also the 2 types of Elementary school teachers)
Regressive– Those who over the years acquire the thought process of 9 year olds. Their Intellect Melts
Capos – run classroom like a P.O.W. camp. They thrive on controlling young children and brandish their power in acts of arbitrary resolve.
As a parent, you don’t want to be either of these, however I see that you need to have a mix of the 2 into that parenting style. I’m not saying to be brainless, but there are times you really need to remember when you were that age and whatever you went through. So in a sense sometimes it is good that a teacher regresses, its not just teachers, certain jobs (or people at jobs) you just can’t be your own intellectual self because the job is mundane and you lose brain cells that way.
Momisms
Parents need to raise their children by teaching them the value of old-fashioned things -Bill Cosby
baby seat Instructions
My Parenting Style
Please be considerate of others…
If you are in a restaurant or movie theater with a screaming baby or toddler go out to the lobby (or bathroom) to calm them down.
If they are younger than a toddler maybe you should have waited for another time for a sitter, before you take that baby to the theater & annoy everyone. (I KNOW you see those daggers coming out of our eyes at you, you can’t miss a death stare)
I know you need to get out and are not always able to find a sitter & yes you do have a right to see a movie or do some other activity you’d like; & enjoy the hard earned money, but Please don’t it (whatever the activity) for others in the vicinity.
- Unlike when I was a kid, & wanted to play a game (I’m an only child)
PLAY with your child. NO matter how busy you are or what you are in the middle of.
Play a game that will take no longer than 30 minutes to play when you are at home at night.
Chutes & ladders, Hungry Hungry, Hippos, Cootie, Old Maid, Go Fish, connect four or even better something the two of you or whole family makes up!
(Make a family Game & movie night)
- Is there something your child has been asking for? Is it quite a bit of money?
This is a bit hard. I’d say depending on how old they are & their attention span for their toys.
*If they play with ‘new’ toys for months then, yes get it for them (see conditions)
*only play with it a week up to a month, Then that’s a no no.
Conditions on buying that expensive gift (Reward)
Have them do a few chores or some way of earning it (no matter how young they are.)
For instance as long as they say their please & Thanks you & mind their manners (or whatever you are teaching them at the time) Then after a month they can have (without letting them know!) as long as they do them without being reminded.
- Weather you have Young Kids or older kids (Junior High, High school or college & after)
For their Birthday or Christmas if you know of a movie, music star or whatever hobby they may have. Get them at least one gift that has something to do with it.
Do they like scrapbooking get them an album or an assortment pack of scraping items
Writer? Buy them a journal & a fountain pen,
Artist? paints, charcol, oil pastels, crayons, markers, & canvas or a large pad
Are they into Pen Paling (snail mail) get them a Stationery set, & colored pen, & stamps
Athlete? Buy them an item for their sport. (Hockey Skates, boxing gloves, even if they just hit the sand bag at home)
Do they just want to exercise? show your support by giving them a pair of ankle weights or 2-5 pound free weights, or kettlebell
these are the best of gifts cause not only are they what they are interested in, you are positively enforcing their interest, and to me show more thought than anything else. (basically it says You’ve showed an interest in me)
Why are kids Bored at school, cannot wait, get easily frustrated and have no ‘real’ friends
I like the idea of the ‘tedious’ work to do from a young age, just don’t use it as a punishment….it must be chores or something, maybe you could reward them for doing it though.
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Activities and hacks for your kids & a chore chart
- Chores By Age – The Trip Clip
- 20 Brilliant Ideas For Parents And Their Kids
Keep your kids from writing on the walls, floors or just driving you up a wall with these activities and hacks.
Parenting styles chart
Reason Why to Home School
Honestly I wish at times I was homeschooled. I do understand however, the reason of actually going to school; which teaches socialization skill and such (or at least supposed to) I know in these times not many can stay home to teach their kids (do you get paid by the government to do it? Doubt that)
The Chore Board
only using image as an example not claiming as own
After school rules
When You get in Have you:
__Put shoes away
__Put Gym clothes in laundry
__Cleaned Lunch Box
__Washed Hands
__Hung up back pack
__Snack & Relax (30 minutes)
Before Dinner
__Homework /class project
__ Chore
__Recreational Use of Electronics 1 hour for games
or 1 movie (2 hours)
Do now for Tomorrow BEFORE bed time
__Put lunch together
__Get School bag ready
__Put out clothes
__Read for half hour to 1 hour the least
(just before bed time or while in bed) set timer if you have to.
Give the kids an activity while you are out
Age Appropriate Bed times
ASuggested times by Hours of sleep needed for each age. Let me know if you want infant to 12 mos information
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Age
|
Bed Time
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|---|---|
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2+
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7
|
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5
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7:30
|
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7-9
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8
|
|
10-13
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9-10
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14-17
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10:30 – 11:00
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Kim’s child safe ‘Kurses’ – trust me on this one. oh & its humorus!
If you have a young child that is almost or in the phase they will repeat everything you say or just the curses.. here’s your guide to handle that.
To try to keep yourself from saying the actual curse substitute it with one of the suggestions below (or just be sure your substitute word starts with the same letter) change it up this way they don’t figure it out
You can also use the over used… Shut the front door but at this point, I’m sure the kids know what that means!
or as I have come up with if you are REALLY mad (think of it as counting to 10)
“Water Damming Son of a meloncholy malimute fruit tart bat” -Shakespearean insult kit’
- Sh–
Shoot,
shapoopie (as a friend of mine used to use)
Schitzu! (a type of dog)
Oh Cheese Logs
Biscuits
Crud
Squash
Stars
Holly HeyBells
PajamaJAM
- F-bomb
Fudge (usually helps me)
Fugasaki (‘Foog’ a sak- e) no idea what it is or if actually is a word but it helps)
fruit
fret
fork
fruit tart
FRAK (as I’ve heard I think the new Battlestar Gallactica has used)
- B**ch
Biscut
Beach
Batch
Butch
butternut
Beachbut
- Bastard
b tart
b-tard
Basehead
bragger
bull head
Bug
- Toss-up (these can be used when you put 2 explitives together)
Mother Mayhem (what I use for “Mo Fo”)
Butternut bug
Biscuits
Pawtucket
also keep in mind, Bastard & Bitch are in the dictionary so therefore they’re not really curses.
If you come up with any of your own, I’d love to hear them!
How to dry baby
My favorite cough drops now & as a child
The Sick List – weather they wake up or come home sick
be sure to have these items on hand and try to make them as comfy as possible.
-Bathrobe
-slippers or socks
-comfy p.j.s (depending on time of year)
- Cepacol or Cloraseptic in a spray
- same as above but a pocket pack of the grape or cherry disolving strips
- soup (I’m a ramen or oodles of noodles kid myself) & don’t forget at least a shake or 2 of garlic
- Pom juice has antioxidants (& really should be drank before getting sick but it should help)
Orange juice we need vitamin-C when we are not well
- Baby Blanket or favorite plush (stuffed) animal
- They can play but not exert themselves.
I used to make a fort with a large blanket draped over a couple of snack trays & maybe a chair to make a tent and I’d play a bit with my dolls or whatever I had enough energy for.
Play a board game with them or dice or read to them.
- Homework.. unless they are going to school the next day don’t bother
(please don’t send your kid in the next day because someone else already got your child sick so please don’t do it to someone else)
The first night they act more like themselves, then they can do the homework.
Teen talk
Say this Not that
More information
see apps for education below
- Guidlines for leaving kids home alone
I don’t think I got to stay home alone until I was a teenager. But here’s suggested NOT legal requirements. - Age appropriate Chore chart
Teaching the kids responsibility? Maybe teaching them about making money? This has suggestions best for each age range - Bed time Routine chart
Printable sort of like a chore chart - 5 Simple Steps on How to Raise a Child While Disciplining Less by thechildwhisperer via livingrichly
- Amen! Kids learn by doing interesting and fun things!!! Not institutionalized and restrained to sit
Amen! Kids learn by doing interesting and fun things!!! Not institutionalized and restrained to sit quietly in a chair all day. Kindergarten checklist | See more about Kindergarten Checklist, Kindergartens and Kindergarten Readiness. - http://www.juxtapost.com/site/permlink/e87ae100-11e5-11e2-880f-a1b5c937aba0/post/baby_sign_language_
Rio posted Baby Sign Language – Quick Reference Guide to their -baby time!- postboard via the Juxtapost bookmarklet. - What’s Your Parenting Style | Parenting Tips For Raising Successful Kids | BetterParenting
This Detailed Graphic Provides Great Statistics On How Different Parenting Styles Will Affect Your Children In the Future. - Parenting Styles: Reactive or Proactive? | Childhood101
How can we be more proactive than reactive in our interactions with young children? - 14 Factors That Influence a Child’s Behavior or Trigger Their Misbehavior
What factors influence children’s behavior and trigger misbehavior including tantrums, outbursts and back talk? 14 Factors that Trigger Challenging Behavior 
